What was your pregnancy journey like?

My pregnancy was a very big surprise! We were not trying but we were open to the idea of getting pregnant. I started out with some mild morning sickness and listened to everyone around me when they said it would disappear by 12 weeks, but at 10 weeks things really went up another level. At 18 weeks I was diagnosed with Hyperemesis Gravadarium (HG) which is described as severe sickness in pregnancy. It was honestly the worst 9 months of my life. I was nauseous 24/7, taking a mixture of pills, reporting to the hospital for medication and IV fluids, Vomiting multiple times a day and living off blue Powerade! We decided not to find out the gender, so that also kept me going on my worse days. 

Tell us more about the birth – give as much or as little detail as you want!

My waters ruptured spontaneously at 38w 1d, but nothing else happened, 24 hours later I was admitted to hospital for antibiotics with a plan to induce labour in the morning. I was so incredibly nervous and I honestly don’t think anything could have prepared me for what happened! I was started on the oxytocin drip and started having contractions on the monitor which I couldn’t feel. I was checked after a few hours and was only 2-3cm dilated, I thought that was fine as I hadn’t felt anything yet so carried on, then the baby’s heart rate dropped significantly, and they couldn’t get it under control until they dropped the oxytocin drip. It was an extremely unpleasant few minutes while they got everything under control. I was offered a Caesarean then but I was really wanting to push my baby out so I asked if I could try the drip one more time and if baby didn’t like it again we would go to theatre. We tried again and the same thing happened, heart rate decelerations, there was a real adrenaline fuelled few minutes after that as the emergency button was pushed and the room filled with people.  I’m certain I started bawling at this point as nobody knew what was going on, I was checked again and had progressed to 4cm, this was after about 4 hours. The decision was made to get this baby out and we headed into theatre. 

As they wheeled me in to theatre I remember crying because I felt so cheated, I never got to enjoy being pregnant because of my HG and I had just had my whole ‘birth’ experience taken from me, I didn’t even feel one contraction. All those feelings went away when they delivered my baby and I found out it was a boy! Hugo was born and I stopped feeling sick, I haven’t felt nauseous since they started my C section. It was like they removed the placenta and took all sickness away, it was honestly such a moment of relief for me, I had forgotten what it felt like to be ‘ok’.

Did you feel supported throughout your whole journey? Who was your biggest supporter?

My journey was a hard one because I was barely able to function most days and couldn’t really look after myself. I have a new found respect for pregnant women and the things that they go through because it was not easy at all! My midwife was amazing, I can not speak highly enough about her. She never once doubted anything I was saying or questioned how sick I was, she made me feel warm, heard and like I wasn’t going insane ! My biggest supporter was 100% my partner Callum. He looked after me when I couldn’t even look after myself, he brought me powerade at 5am when I had been spewing all night, he was always fetching my spew bowl and sitting with me in emergency waiting for IV fluids. The poor guy heard ‘I feel sick’ about a million times in 9 months and never once made me feel like I was over reacting or that I was being a pain. He was such a trooper and I honestly don’t think I will ever be able to repay him for what he did, he honestly kept me going on the days I had nothing left in the tank. 

How are YOU feeling now that you are in the fourth trimester?

I finally knew why everyone was telling me to soak it all in, it goes far too quickly. I feel like I’ve found my purpose, my why and my reason. Mum. Being Hugo’s mum brought me so much clarity and honestly changed my whole perspective. Dare I say it but my shitty pregnancy journey actually may have healed something inside me I didn’t know was in need of healing. I’ve been loving being Mum but a part of me just wanted people to acknowledge I am still Kyra, I can still be me before being Mum. This is something I still struggle with and Hugo is almost 5 months old. It took me a while to accept that I’m not just me anymore, I can still be me, but I can also be Hugo’s mum, and I can be bloody good at being both of those things. 

What is one thing you wish you could change from your whole journey so far?

Definitely the pregnancy sickness! It was honestly something I wouldn’t wish upon anyone, and my heart goes out to anyone who has suffered HG or any pregnancy sickness in general. It played with my mind so much over the 9 months and was mentally draining keeping up with myself sometimes. Since Hugo was born people have said ‘see it was so worth it’ ‘if you go back for number 2 the sickness can’t have been that bad’ and while I definitely agree having Hugo come out of it was 100% worth it, it was also one of the most traumatic parts of my life and I think that that is important to acknowledge.  I went through a lot to bring my beautiful wee boy into this world and I’m so proud of my body and what I did. I would do it again and be sick again but no that does not mean I’ll be rushing back haha! 

In one word, describe what ‘Motherhood’ means to you.

Everything. This journey has given me everything I didn’t know I needed and I plan to give Hugo the exact same back, forever.